Name: Nina Alexandra Bacrau's review of Whole Again by Jackson MacKenzie
Item: Whole Again
Rating: 5
Author: Nina Alexandra Bacrau

Jackson MacKenzie

Jackson MacKenzie has helped millions of readers in their struggle to understand the experience of toxic relationships. His first book, Psychopath Free, explained how to identify and survive the immediate situation. In this highly anticipated new book, he guides readers on what to do next--how to fully heal from abuse in order to find love and acceptance for the self and others.Through his work with thousands of survivors of abusive relationships, Jackson discovered that survivors frequently have symptoms of trauma lasting long after the relationship is over. These may include feelings of numbness and emptiness, depression, mood swings, isolation, perfectionism, rumination, caretaking and people-pleasing, a need for control, physical maladies, substance abuse, and more.But he also found that it is possible to work through these symptoms and find love on the other side. Through a practice of mindfulness, introspection and exercises using specific tools, readers learn to identify the protective self they've developed - and uncover the core self, so that they can finally move on to live a full and authentic life--to once again feel light, free, whole, and ready to give and receive love.Like Brene Brown's The Gifts of Imperfection and John Bradshaw's Healing the Shame that Binds You, Whole Again offers hope and multiple strategies to anyone who has survived a toxic relationship, as well as anyone suffering the effects of a breakup involving lying, cheating and other forms of abuse--to release old wounds and safely let the love back inside where it belongs.

Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse

Whole Again

Hasya Yazid

The main issue is that we’re expecting our external world to change, and 

 we’ll be happy.….. If we truly want love and connection, we need to go through the hard work and pain required to change 

We cannot control how others think, feel, or perceive us. We cannot spend our energy saving or fixing others. And likewise, we cannot expect others to save or fix us. We are the only ones capable of doing that for ourselves. We can seek therapy and/or support, but no one else is responsible for our feelings except us. This perspective guides us toward wholeness as an independent, loving human being.

If you’re suffering from trauma or psychological disorders, there’s a good chance you don’t even feel your true emotions, because you’re being blocked from experiencing them. You know how some people have repressed memories that come out in therapy? Think of these as repressed feelings. By learning about these emotions and preparing ourselves to feel them, they won’t be nearly as scary. Slowly, we make the transformation from “my body feels numb or weird” toward using 

I was doing mindfulness, why am I feeling 

 kittens and rainbows. It is an unbearable sensation that we have subconsciously been avoiding since the moment it entered our bodies.

The more comfortable you become with discomfort, the more the discomfort will reveal itself to you.

The goal is not to try to stop thoughts or feelings we don’t like, but instead to 

 them to be there—without judging, changing, or avoiding them. This lets you build a friendly, curious relationship with the stuff going on inside your body and mind, even the stuff that feels awful.

When we’re hungry, we eat food. When we’re out of shape, we go to the gym. When we’re tired, we go to sleep. But for some reason, when we’re feeling unlovable, we analyze ourselves to death until we feel worse.

It took me quite some time to realize that this horrible, unbearable sense of “bad self” wasn’t my tightness getting worse. It was an old emotional wound un-numbing itself. This sensation wasn’t new to me. I remembered it from five years ago, right after my relationship ended. And the more time I spent feeling it, the more I began to understand why it got numbed out in the first place. This feeling was completely self-destructive. Our bodies are built for survival—so it makes sense that my body shut this feeling down, since I didn’t have any emotional tools to heal it.

But it was too late. The feeling was uncontrollable and all consuming. Without my hatred of the person who hurt me, all my boundaries were destroyed. I was filled with self-doubt and fear. I had no idea who I was. All I knew was that I was wrong and bad and needed to admit it. I felt inadequate, shameful, and afraid.

You have been trying so hard for so long, I know. None of this is your fault, but you are the 

one who can do the hard work to change it.

I was changing the relationship that I had with myself, my feelings, and my body. This nurturing process slowly taught me how to care and love again. Forgiveness was a natural by-product of this process.

…. by any sane person’s standards, it was getting much worse. But I didn’t notice. I was too busy trying to prove I was happy.

Sometimes I’d get short bursts of excitement or hope, but nothing lasted.

This is how I have been feeling in my chest for months now, progressively getting worse each and every day, since the relationship took a turn for the worse and continued going down this never-ending pit hole.

I described a “tight feeling in my heart.” It wasn’t painful or sharp, just a constant numb, squeezing sensation. It started immediately after my first relationship ended, and I felt it for five years straight. All day, every day, from the moment I woke up to the second I fell asleep.

samantha lias &
Whole Again by Jackson MacKenzie

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samantha lias &
Whole Again by Jackson MacKenzie