Name: Dana Kraft's review of No One Understands You and What to Do about It by Heidi Grant Halvorson
Item: No One Understands You and What to Do about It
Rating: 2
Author: Dana Kraft

Heidi Grant Halvorson

Have you ever felt you’re not getting through to the person you’re talking to, or not coming across the way you intend? You’re not alone. That’s the bad news. But there is something we can do about it. Heidi Grant Halvorson, social psychologist and bestselling author, explains why we’re often misunderstood and how we can fix that. Most of us assume that other people see us as we see ourselves, and that they see us as we truly are. But neither is true. Our everyday interactions are colored by subtle biases that distort how others see us--and also shape our perceptions of them. You can learn to clarify the message you’re sending once you understand the lenses that shape perception: * Trust. Are you friend or foe? * Power. How much influence do you have over me? * Ego. Do you make me feel insecure? Based on decades of research in psychology and social science, Halvorson explains how these lenses affect our interactions--and how to manage them. Once you understand the science of perception, you’ll communicate more clearly, send the messages you intend to send, and improve your personal relationships. You’ll also become a fairer and more accurate judge of others. Halvorson even offers an evidence-based action plan for repairing a damaged reputation. This book is not about making a good impression, although it will certainly help you do that. It’s about coming across as you intend. It’s about the authenticity we all strive for.

No One Understands You and What to Do about It

Dana Kraft

kind of scary but very useful and eye-opening. it delivers what it promised

Arturo Hernández

It's easy to believe the world is against you or that people are just strange, however this book attempts to provide a guide to understand why people do what they do, act like they do and, most importantly, think like they think. It's about perceptions, communication and behavior. It provides a nice mental structure to understand the others and yourself in the process.

Lee Herman

Excellent book on how we are perceived (and perceive others) and how to improve how and how accurately we are perceived and how to improve the accuracy of our perception of others. While the book is supported by research cited in detail, it's a very accessible read. The author is careful to explain the psychological terms used in the book. I'll be reading it again to move beyond understanding the mechanisms explained to employing some of the suggested approaches to better communication.

This book tries to address a problem that continues to confound me. The chasm between what I intend to communicate and what gets processed by my intended audience is surprisingly wide. That said, I don't think there's much in here that is enlightening or practically useful. I would definitely recommend "Thanks for the Feedback" or "Feedback Toolkit" as more interesting and practical resources for overcoming communication difficulties. I can admit that my own bias against the validity of social science research affected my impression of the book. When I read "researchers asked 200 Germans...." or "...Chicago MBA students were given the opportunity to....", I want to stop reading.

The most interesting takeaways for me are:
- "We don't communicate nearly as much information as we think we do." which I interpret as people don't understand our non-verbal communications any better than our verbal communications
- "other people will assume you share their opinions and attitudes, but not their abilities and moral character. With respect to the latter, they believe they are more talented and less corruptible than you are."

Have you ever felt you’re not getting through to the person you’re talking to, or not coming across the way you intend? You’re not alone. That’s the bad news. But there is something we can do about it. Heidi Grant Halvorson, social psychologist and bestselling author, explains why we’re often misunderstood and how we can fix that. Most of us assume that other people see us as we see ourselves, and that they see us as we truly are. But neither is true. Our everyday interactions are colored by subtle biases that distort how others see us—and also shape our perceptions of them. You can learn to clarify the message you’re sending once you understand the lenses that shape perception: • Trust. Are you friend or foe? • Power. How much influence do you have over me? • Ego. Do you make me feel insecure? Based on decades of research in psychology and social science, Halvorson explains how these lenses affect our interactions—and how to manage them. Once you understand the science of perception, you’ll communicate more clearly, send the messages you intend to send, and improve your personal relationships. You’ll also become a fairer and more accurate judge of others. Halvorson even offers an evidence-based action plan for repairing a damaged reputation. This book is not about making a good impression, although it will certainly help you do that. It’s about coming across as you intend. It’s about the authenticity we all strive for.

Dana Kraft &
No One Understands You and What to Do about It by Heidi Grant Halvorson

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Dana Kraft &No One Understands You and What to Do about It by Heidi Grant Halvorson

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Join the club

Dana Kraft &
No One Understands You and What to Do about It by Heidi Grant Halvorson