Name: Sarah Escorsa's review of Go Fetch! by Shelly Laurenston
Item: Go Fetch!
Rating: 1
Author: Sarah Escorsa

Shelly Laurenston

Go Fetch!

Nohemy Avalos

Conall Viga-Feilan, a direct descent of Viking shifters, meets his match in Miki Kendrick, a very special human.

Go Fetch

Sarah Escorsa

Looks like feminism just committed suicide again! Surprise, surprise!



This is Feminism, my once evil, nefarious cat, self-defenestrating after reading this book. Sad.

A note to talented PNR authors everywhere: making your heroine an obnoxious, vulgar, hateful, rude, selfish, foul-mouthed bitch doesn't magically turn her into an assertive, bold, strong female character. I kid you not. Even when you give her an IQ of 170 (view spoiler)[
  
 (hide spoiler)]. I kid you not. It simply magically turns her into an obnoxious, vulgar, hateful, rude, selfish, foul-mouthed bitch. Thus magically turning me into a homicidal maniac with slightly slaughterish tendencies.



Also: having a Neanderthal asshole with an IQ of -650 as a male MC is somewhat inadvisable. Especially if said Neanderthal asshole is incapable of seeing women as more than tight pieces of ass. This, too tends to magically turning me into a homicidal maniac with slightly slaughterish tendencies. I'm weird, I know.

Also, also: the fact that your story is a fictitious one doesn't make it okay for you to promote demeaning behavior towards tight pieces of ass women. Neither does it make it alright to objectify them and stuff. No it bloody shrimping doesn’t.

Also, also, also: sex scenes. Sigh. Writing overabundant, distasteful, "we go at it like rabid barnacles in heat," TMI sex scenes does not a hot, steamy, sensual, erotic read make. Not it doesn't. A pathetically ridiculous, unappetizing, OTT, unsexy, worse than the worst of amateur porn-like read, however, it does make. Because, strange as it sounds, a little subtlety never hurt anyone. Shocking, I know. 

Also, also, also, also: why would you want to create a super engaging and likeable cast of characters when you can have a bunch of unpleasant, crass, hare-brained nitwits instead? Beats me and stuff.

Oh, and by the way: books like this one kinda sorta make me feel like...



You are quite welcome.

P.S. this book is violently hazardous to one's health. Read it at your own risk, my Little Barnacles.

• Book 1: Pack Challenge ★



[January 2015] 

Anne said “squicky” and I said “yippy!”

Surely this can't be as bad as Pack Challenge. Right? Right.

Nohemy Avalos &
Go Fetch! by Shelly Laurenston

Reviews

Join the club

Nohemy Avalos &Go Fetch! by Shelly Laurenston

Reviews

Join the club

Nohemy Avalos &
Go Fetch! by Shelly Laurenston