Name: Omar Fernandez's review of The Choice by Edith Eva Eger
Item: The Choice
Rating: 5
Author: Omar Fernandez

Edith Eva Eger

Esmé Schwall Weigand

A powerful, moving memoir, and a practical guide to healing, written by Dr. Edie Eger, an eminent psychologist whose own experiences as a Holocaust survivor help her treat patients suffering from traumatic stress disorders.

Embrace the Possible

The Choice

Omar Fernandez

But I wasn't a prisoner anymore. I could see my sister's prison at work, hear her guilt and grief clawing through the blame she threw at me and Magda. And I could choose my own freedom. I could name my own feelings, of rage, worthlessness, sorrow, regret, I could let them swirl, let them rise and fall, let them pass. And I could risk letting go of the need to punish myself for having lived. I could release my guilt and reclaim my whole pure self.

There is the wound. And there is what comes out of it. I went back to Auschwitz searching for the feel of death so that I could finally exorcise it. What I found was my inner truth, the self I wanted to reclaim, my strength and my innocence.

Time doesn't heal. It's what you do with the time. Healing is possible when we choose to take responsibility, when we choose to take risks, and finally, when we choose to release the wound, to let go of the past or the grief.

That's why I'm anxious. That's why I'm sad. That's why I can't risk going to Germany. It's not that I'm wrong to feel anxious and sad and afraid. It's not that there isn't real trauma at the core of my life. And it's not that Hitler and Mengele and every other perpetrator of violence or cruelty shouldn't be held accountable for the harm they cause. But if I stay on the seesaw, I am holding the past responsible for what I choose to do now.

Reading this stirred so much emotion in me. I just can't imagine what it must be like to feel the pressure of going back to a place that forces you to face trauma in your past like this. 

But when I tell Béla that I have decided to decline the invitation, he grabs my shoulder. "If you don't go to Germany," he says, "then Hitler won the war."

Expression is the opposite of depression.

But from this moment on, I understood that feelings, no matter how powerful, aren't fatal. And they are temporary. Suppressing the feelings only makes it harder to let them go. Expression is the opposite of depression.

Dr Eger goes on to say that we are all part Tom and part Chuck, the struggles are hard on us but they are also what can help us transform ourselves.

Today I have been assigned two new patients, both Vietnam veter- ans, both paraplegics. They have the same diagnosis (lower T-injury of the spinal cord), the same prognosis (compromised fertility and sexual function, unlikely to walk again, good control of hands and trunk). On my way to see them, I am unaware that one of them will have a life-changing effect on me. I meet Tom first. He is lying on his bed, curled up in a fetal position, cursing God and country. He seems imprisoned-by his injured body, by his misery, by his rage.

When I go to the other vet's room, I find Chuck out of bed and sitting in his wheelchair. "It's interesting," he says. "I've been given a second chance in life. Isn't it amazing?" He is brimming over with a sense of discovery and possibility. "I sit in this wheelchair, and I go out on the lawn, out on the grounds, and the flowers are much closer. I can see my children's eyes."

Nothing is gained if we close our eyes to wrong, if we give someone a pass, if we dismiss accountability. But as my fellow survivors taught me, you can live to avenge the past, or you can live to enrich the present. You can live in the prison of the past, or you can let the past be the springboard that helps you reach the life you want now

Good to remember. We all have different degrees of experiences in which we feel helpless. So when we try to tell someone to feel empowered, that they can do anything, that may simply not match their lived experiences. I see this a lot in the workplace. It takes a lot of changes and trials before this feeling of helplessness can be left behind, and it's very easy to reverse progress and fall back into helplessness and desperate when a single new experience takes agency out of someone's hands. 

Seligman's experiments-which were done with dogs and unfortu nately preceded current protections against cruelty to animals-taught him about the concept he called "learned helplessness." When dogs who were given painful shocks were able to stop the shocks by pressing a lever, they learned quickly to stop the pain. And they were able, in subsequent experiments, to figure out how to escape painful shocks administered in a kennel cage by leaping over a small barrier. Dogs who hadn't been given a means to stop the pain, however, had learned the lesson that they were helpless against it. When they were put in a kennel cage and administered shocks, they ignored the route to escape and just lay down in the kennel and whimpered. From this Seligman concluded that when we feel we have no control over our circumstances, when we believe that nothing we do can alleviate our suffering or improve our lives, we stop taking action on our own behalf because we believe there is no point. This is what happened at the camps, when former inmates left through the gates only to return to prison, to sit vacantly, unsure what to do with their freedom now that it had finally come.

Survival is black and white, no "buts" can intrude when you are fighting for your life. Now the "buts" come rushing in. We have bread to eat. Yes, but we are penniless. You are gaining weight. Yes, but my heart is heavy. You are alive. Yes, but my mother is dead.

Amazing memoir of a holocaust survivor! Her story of survival + life after, leading into her work as a psychologist is a pure masterpiece! 

Zoey Novak

Wow, what a story. Dr. Eger transforms her painful life experiences into wisdom, and shares with us the keys she uses to get out of the prison in our minds. It is an incredibly touching story, but beyond her own life story Dr Eger also shares stories of helping her patients through their own challenges. She doesn't want us to just be inspired by her story, she wants us to realize that we can also choose to free ourselves. 

Róbert Istók

I could not put this book down. It is one of the most powerful books I've ever read.

On one part, it is heartbreaking what she and her family had to go through, and how horrible people can be. 

On the other, it is a truly inspiring story about the choices we make in life and about the thoughts we put in our heads. With only one thought we can influence our lives in profound ways. It can be a difference between life and death. Between going forward and giving up. Love and hate. 

No matter what stage are you in your life, give it a read, as it will be life-changing!

Tiffany Tittes

I loved this book. I had a hard time putting it down, she’s so optimistic and has an answer for all of her struggles. Her relationships with her mother and siblings were so interesting. I’m happy she wrote this book! History was not my favorite subject so I felt like I was learning something with every turn of the page.

Dana Kraft

This makes me want to read Man’s Search for Meaning again. I enjoyed this book but not as much as I remember being inspired by Frankl. I will remember the distinction she makes between “reacting” and “responding”. I was also struck by the connection between her description of finding the possible or good path forward regardless of the circumstance and the more explicitly religious books I’ve read recently. This book is not explicitly religious in any way, but I found it reinforcing my own beliefs which happen to be Catholic.

Cindy Lieberman

This is much more than a firsthand account of what happened to a 16 year-old Jewish girl in Hungary, her parents, and sisters immediately before, during, and (for some of them) after the Holocaust. Dayenu - it would have been enough - had it done no more than tell that painful, true story. At first I thought it was the female version of Viktor Frankel’s “Man’s Search for Meaning.” But Dr. Eger has taken her experience and shown us how personal choice is the way forward. Her life in America, her determination to succeed — to prove herself worthy of having survived while so many others were killed — is both gut-wrenching and inspirational. Dayenu. Later as a practicing psychiatrist, Dr. Eger describes her encounter with a new patient: a hate-filled neo-Nazi in a brown shirt and heavy boots. Her anguished reaction, and subsequent decision (no spoilers!), makes this a particularly meaningful and important contribution to combatting the current increase in white supremacy. 
The audiobook is wonderfully brought to life by the noted actress Tovah Feldshuh. A moving performance of the story of a woman whose long life and many contributions have left an indelible mark. Highly recommended.

Astha Prakash

What a beautiful, life-affirming book. Can't believe she wrote this when she was ninety. I found myself completely engrossed in Edith's story of surviving in Auschwitz and then later building a new life. This book forces you to look deep within, provokes you to think, to feel everything you don't want to, and then... slowly heals you. I simply could not stop reading this. Her stories are going to stay with me for days, possibly years.

A New York Times Bestseller “I’ll be forever changed by Dr. Eger’s story…The Choice is a reminder of what courage looks like in the worst of times and that we all have the ability to pay attention to what we’ve lost, or to pay attention to what we still have.”—Oprah “Dr. Eger’s life reveals our capacity to transcend even the greatest of horrors and to use that suffering for the benefit of others. She has found true freedom and forgiveness and shows us how we can as well.” —Desmond Tutu, Nobel Peace Prize Laureate “Dr. Edith Eva Eger is my kind of hero. She survived unspeakable horrors and brutality; but rather than let her painful past destroy her, she chose to transform it into a powerful gift—one she uses to help others heal.” —Jeannette Walls, New York Times bestselling author of The Glass Castle Winner of the National Jewish Book Award and Christopher Award At the age of sixteen, Edith Eger was sent to Auschwitz. Hours after her parents were killed, Nazi officer Dr. Josef Mengele, forced Edie to dance for his amusement and her survival. Edie was pulled from a pile of corpses when the American troops liberated the camps in 1945. Edie spent decades struggling with flashbacks and survivor’s guilt, determined to stay silent and hide from the past. Thirty-five years after the war ended, she returned to Auschwitz and was finally able to fully heal and forgive the one person she’d been unable to forgive—herself. Edie weaves her remarkable personal journey with the moving stories of those she has helped heal. She explores how we can be imprisoned in our own minds and shows us how to find the key to freedom. The Choice is a life-changing book that will provide hope and comfort to generations of readers.

Laura Antonella Miscione

"We don’t know where we’re going, we don’t know what’s going to happen, but no one can take away from you what you put in your own mind." A young girl who is forced to dance for none other than Mengele, takes us on a journey through life. This book is an anthem to freedom....READ IT!

Edith Eger

THE AWARD-WINNING SUNDAY TIMES AND NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER Even in hell, hope can flower 'I'll be forever changed by her story' - Oprah Winfrey ‘Extraordinary ... will stick with you long after you read it’ - Bill Gates 'One of those rare and eternal stories you don't want to end' - Desmond Tutu 'A masterpiece of holocaust literature. Her memoir, like her life, is extraordinary, harrowing and inspiring in equal measure' - The Times Literary Supplement ‘I can’t imagine a more important message for modern times. Eger’s book is a triumph' - The New York Times In 1944, sixteen-year-old ballerina Edith Eger was sent to Auschwitz. Separated from her parents on arrival, she endures unimaginable experiences, including being made to dance for the infamous Josef Mengele. When the camp is finally liberated, she is pulled from a pile of bodies, barely alive. The horrors of the Holocaust didn't break Edith. In fact, they helped her learn to live again with a life-affirming strength and a truly remarkable resilience. The Choice is her unforgettable story. It shows that hope can flower in the most unlikely places.

A true story of hope

Stephanie

Have always been so so interested in ww2 and especially Jew's experiences in the camps and this book was amazing amazing. Also the fact that she was a ballerina really connected with me as a parallel to my priveliged life. 

Valentina Cherednichenko

It took me months to read this book, not because it was badly written or boring, but because it hurt so much. It is split into to section and my god, did I cry during the first half of the book. If you have the opportunity, read this. But read it and ponder it. Don't rush thru it, but let the story sit down in the room with you and share the space. It is really something special.

Amy Arthun Lorton 

I had such a strong connection to this book. I want to
say I loved it, but that’s not the right word since I’m sad she had the material to write it. “I appreciated it” seems too minimal for my feelings. I’ll be interested to discuss (in my book club) what word in the English language can be used to describe everyone’s feelings towards this book. It’s complicated- it’s like a new word needs to be created.

David

I cannot describe how much I have liked and been moved by this book. A moving story of healing and overcoming. Whoever is lucky enough to read this book will learn about life, pain and overcoming

angela

geri

Giulia

Katie Hosler

Paige Wanner

In 1944, sixteen-year-old Edith Eger was sent to Auschwitz. There she endured unimaginable experiences, including being made to dance for the infamous Josef Mengele. Over the coming months, Edith's bravery helped her sister to survive, and led to her bunkmates rescuing her during a death march. When their camp was finally liberated, Edith was pulled from a pile of bodies, barely alive. In The Choice, Dr Edith Eger shares her experience of the Holocaust and the remarkable stories of those she has helped ever since. Today, she is an internationally acclaimed psychologist whose patients include survivors of abuse and soldiers suffering from PTSD. She explains how many of us live within a mind that has become a prison, and shows how freedom becomes possible once we confront our suffering. Like Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning, The Choice is life changing. Warm, compassionate and infinitely wise, it is a profound examination of the human spirit, and our capacity to heal.

Jennifer Kennedy

THE AWARDWINNING INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER 'Eger's remarkable spirit shines through in every word' Stylist In 1944, sixteen-year-old Edith Eger was sent to Auschwitz. There she endured unimaginable experiences, including being made to dance for the infamous Josef Mengele. Over the coming months, her bravery helped her sister to survive and led to her bunkmates rescuing her during a death march. When their camp was finally liberated, Edith was pulled from a pile of bodies, barely alive. In The Choice, Edith Eger shares her life, remarkable because her years in the concentration camp encouraged her to find a hope and resilience that most of us would never think was possible. It wasn't easy but, as she tried to find a future for herself after the Second World War, partly by helping many others through their own versions of trauma, she discovered an honesty, strength and empowerment within herself that makes for a memorable and inspiring read. Compelling, truly remarkable, and ultimately triumphant, The Choice is the unforgettable memoir of a woman who has seen the worst and lived the best.

Omar Fernandez &
The Choice by Edith Eva Eger

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