Name: brendan sudol's review of Exactly what to Say by Phil M. Jones
Item: Exactly what to Say
Rating: 3
Author: brendan sudol

Phil M. Jones

Often the decision between a customer choosing you over someone like you is your ability to know exactly what to say, when to say it, and how to make it count. Phil M. Jones has trained more than two million people across five continents and over fifty countries in the lost art of spoken communication. In Exactly What to Say, he delivers the tactics you need to get more of what you want. Best-selling author and multiple award-winner Phil M. Jones is highly regarded as one of the world's leading sales trainers. He has trained more than two million people across five continents and fifty-six countries and coached some of the biggest global brands in the lost art of spoken communication. In 2013 he won the British Excellence in Sales and Marketing Award for Sales Trainer of the Year, the youngest-ever recipient of that honor. He has also written a series of best-selling books and developed a number of online training courses that have enrolled tens of thousands of members around the world. Phil divides his time between London and New York. Praise for Exactly What to Say: "Abracadabra--you are a millionaire! That is what will happen if you follow the advice from Phil Jones in this book." --Jeffrey Hayzlett, primetime TV and podcast host, chairman of C-Suite Network "Indeed, the right words spoken the right way, while perhaps not actually magic, can sure have the results of such." --Bob Burg, co-author of The Go-Giver "I think Phil says it best himself at the end of this fabulous read: "Everything you have learned in this book is simple, easy to do and works." It's tried and tested, proven and guaranteed to help you get your own way more often." --Philip Hesketh, professional speaker and author on the psychology of persuasion and influence "If you want to get prospects, clients, colleagues, bosses or anybody to say "yes" to what you want, I have three magic words of advice for you: "Get this book!" --Sylvie di Giusto, keynote speaker and corporate image consultant "This book is packed with ideas and easy-to-implement suggestions that will assist any individual in obtaining the outcomes they require from the conversations they have." --Grant Leboff, CEO, StickyMarketing.com "Exactly What to Say is packed full of real-world solutions that will lead you to achieving the outcomes you desire in life and business." --Richard Dixon, director, Holidaysplease "If you want to sell more and influence better, then this book is as close as you'll get to a magic wand or silver bullet to success!" --Rob Brown, founder Networking Coaching Academy and bestselling author of Build Your Reputation "Phil Jones helps uncover the truth in complex selling situations. These powerful phrases demonstrate how to influence others with integrity while never seeming pushy. You'll use these gems each and every day." --Ian Altman, co-author of Same Side Selling, Forbes.com columnist "Exactly What to Say could replace just about every other book on human behavior--it's that useful." --John Jantsch, author of Duct Tape Marketing "In this short but powerpacked book, [Jones] shares how to use certain key phrases to help you with the winning edge." --Bryan Eisenberg, NYT bestselling author of Waiting for Your Cat to Bark? and Be Like Amazon "Exactly What to Say is a must-read for anyone looking to be more persuasive in their business and personal lives." --Seth Price, bestselling author of The Road to Recognition

The Magic Words for Influence and Impact

Exactly what to Say

Fabian Beiner

He quickly realized his responsibility was not to give them the answer; it was just to give them an answer, so he changed the way he answered the question. From that point onward, when customers asked him, "So, how does all this stuff work?" he would respond with the words, "It works great." Nine times out of ten, his customers were delighted with that answer. 

The words I use to do this are, "Just out of curiosity," and they can be used as the perfect preface to many a direct question.

You meet with someone to introduce them to your ideas and look to gain their commitment. They kind of like you and your ideas, but they are not so sure, and the meeting is coming to a close. You thank them for their time, pack your things up and head for the door. At this point you could create a Columbo moment and turn back to them with the words, "Just one more thing." When they think that they have got away with not buying anything, you introduce a simple idea, something that is really easy for them to try, and bring them into your world with a far smaller decision than you had previously asked for.

Jumping back to the scenario in the grocery store, let's imagine that you are deliberating between four and eight apples. If you were being served in that transaction and were asked the direct question, "Would eight apples be enough for you?" your instant response would be "yes," and the decision would be made. 

You have the power in these situations to isolate this condition and remove the barrier by responding with a powerful question that eliminates their argument. This is achieved by using the question structure, "If I can..., then will you...?"

When you find yourself in a position in which the other person is leaning toward not choosing your idea, you can quickly move them back in your direction by prefacing your next action with another set of Magic Words: "Before you make your mind up..." 

What you are asking them to do is to explain themselves properly. The words, "What makes you say that?" mean they now have to take responsibility and explain what they really mean. 

Finishing this process with a question that is effortless to answer is the key to gaining a rapid response and a positive outcome.

In these consultative discussions, it is your responsibility to lead the conversation, and following the sharing of the required information, your role is to move it toward a close. You need to let them know what happens next, so the Magic Words you require are precisely that: "What happens next is..." This is a perfect way of linking all of the information they need to make a decision, the information you provided when you presented to them, and bringing them through to the completion that needs to follow. So, what you do is create a scene. You do not ask them what they would like to do; you just tell them what happens next.

When somebody gives you an excuse, they expect you to push back and argue around that point. Next time somebody tells you a reason why they do not want to do something, respond by saying, "That's great." When somebody says, "I couldn't do it because of this," say, "That's great, you've just found out another way that doesn't work," and watch how they look at you differently. You have changed the way that they think. 

By prefacing things with, "The good news is...," you cause people to face forward with optimism and zap any negative energy out of the conversation.

Now when you are faced with a moment when what you want to say is, "Look, what I think you should do is this," but you cannot say that because it is kind of obnoxious, instead you can simply state what "most people" would do in this situation and watch how it changes everything. 

You know when you can see and feel the anxiety in somebody, when they are uncertain about what to do next or perhaps even fearful. These two Magic Words provide instant relief, and you can typically see the change in the recipient. Say the words, "Don't worry," and the tension just pours out of them as they become more relaxed. Just two words that, when said confidently and calmly, create an outcome that is the equivalent of the expression "Phew!"—that little sigh that comes out as they start to feel in control.

When they made conditional statements like these to you, chances are that you believed them. These statements hold power over our beliefs and actions. As a consequence, creating a scenario using the preface "if" and adding a second scenario with the preface "then" means that people are highly likely to believe the outcome.

The Magic Words "I bet you're a bit like me" often result in the other person comfortably agreeing with you.

When you are talking to a stranger, the conversation needs to move easily, which means it typically follows the path of least resistance. If you use this preface ahead of a scenario you would like people to believe to be true, expect them to agree with you wholeheartedly, quickly and easily. Prefacing a statement with the Magic Words, "I bet you're a bit like me," quite often results in the other person comfortably agreeing with what you are saying, providing that you are reasonable. 

Asking people to decide for themselves who they are with the Magic Words "two types of people" prompts a near-instant decision. The second someone hears, "There are two types of people in this world," the little voice in their head immediately wonders which one they are, and they wait with bated breath to hear the choices.

"Of those three options, what's going to be easier for you?" Finishing with another set of Magic Words means they have to pick one of those options.

The words, "As I see it, you have three options," help the other person through the decision-making process and allow you to appear impartial in doing so. 

When you ask somebody, "Can I have your...?" it creates a permission-based resistance in the other person, which makes it harder to get what you hoped for, since a "yes" or "no" response is required. It can be seen as an invasion of privacy. Instead, asking the alternative question, "What's the best number to contact you at?" results in people effortlessly giving you the information you requested.

A simple change of wording puts you in control. Swap the phrase, "Do you have any questions?" with the improved, "What questions do you have for me?"

By using the words you are fearful they may give you back in the other direction, you create a scenario that completely disarms them. If you say to somebody, "I'm guessing you haven't got around to making a decision on this yet," and they say, "No, you're right. We're still thinking about it," you can open up the negotiation. If, instead, they say, "No, we have, and we've made a decision," you can say, "Great, when are we ready to get started?"

When you do get around to following up or speaking again at the agreed time, please do not ask them what they thought about what you asked them to look at. This makes it easy for them to talk bad news or bring up their concerns. Instead, swap that question with, "So, what do you like about it?" and watch them list the good-news reasons instead.

By using the preface, "When would be a good time to...?" you prompt the other person to subconsciously assume that there will be a good time and that no is not an option. 

Shahin F

brendan sudol

A nice, quick book about some magic words and phrases that can help you be more persuasive in your daily dealings - seems primarily geared towards sales situations but certainly not limited to that.

Here's a subset:

* Open-minded (e.g. “Would you be open-minded about giving this a chance?”)
* How would you feel if…
* I’m guessing you haven’t got around to…
* I bet you’re a bit like me…
* Don’t worry…
* Most people… (e.g. “Most people in your situation would probably select the middle option.”)
* What happens next…
* What makes you say that?
* Before you make up your mind…
* Just out of curiosity…

Ugis

Well highlighted phrases that work in conversations. Funny to find a phrase that a colleague of mine is using all the time (and pisses me off) here too. [listening time 1h13m]

Ethan Ding

Pratik M

angela

Drew Spartz

Dana Paduraru

alali moe

Christina Rae Lu

Ahmed Galal

Often the decision between a customer choosing you over someone like you is your ability to know exactly what to say, when to say it, and how to make it count. Phil M. Jones has trained more than two million people across five continents and over fifty countries in the lost art of spoken communication. In Exactly What to Say, he delivers the tactics you need to get more of what you want.Words have the power to change decisions, fates and fortunes, yet few people purposely wield them.In this practical, digestible book, bestselling author and international speaker Phil Jones shares how simple language techniques can transform the success of conversations. Jones offers twenty-two simple phrases that can easily be interwoven in one's everyday exchanges. Each chapter explores the psychology behind the effectiveness of a simple set of words before providing examples of how to use them in varying situations.Concise, motivating and-most importantly-effective, Exactly What To Say empowers readers to understand and excel in the art of conversation... and business.

Shahin F &
Exactly what to Say by Phil M. Jones

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Shahin F &Exactly what to Say by Phil M. Jones

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Shahin F &
Exactly what to Say by Phil M. Jones