Name: Stephen Wardle's review of The Twisted Ones by T. Kingfisher
Item: The Twisted Ones
Rating: 4
Author: Stephen Wardle

T. Kingfisher

When a young woman clears out her deceased grandmother’s home in rural North Carolina, she finds long-hidden secrets about a strange colony of beings in the woods in this chilling novel that reads like The Blair Witch Project meets The Andy Griffith Show. When Mouse’s dad asks her to clean out her dead grandmother's house, she says yes. After all, how bad could it be? Answer: pretty bad. Grandma was a hoarder, and her house is stuffed with useless rubbish. That would be horrific enough, but there’s more—Mouse stumbles across her step-grandfather’s journal, which at first seems to be filled with nonsensical rants…until Mouse encounters some of the terrifying things he described for herself. Alone in the woods with her dog, Mouse finds herself face to face with a series of impossible terrors—because sometimes the things that go bump in the night are real, and they’re looking for you. And if she doesn’t face them head on, she might not survive to tell the tale. From Hugo Award–winning author Ursula Vernon, writing as T. Kingfisher, The Twisted Ones is a gripping, terrifying tale bound to keep you up all night—from both fear and anticipation of what happens next.

The Twisted Ones

Chrissy Gray

I made faces like the faces on the rocks, and I twisted myself about like the twisted ones, and I lay down flat on the ground like the dead ones.

the protagonist has, in fact, screamed and shrieked and cried out many, many times in this book so far. so often and at such mundane noises that it's actually excessive and throws me out of the book for a moment.

hannie

I screamed. I actually screamed and swept everything off the counter ... I never do things like that. I don't throw things. I don't scream.

She was born unkind and graduated to cruel early.

Bruno De Miranda

Stephen Wardle

Oooh this DID IT FOR ME. The setting was magically just half-an-hour from where I grew up so I could really imagine where the house was and how the trees surrounded it. I loved Bongo the dog, and I found Mouse’s frequent asides charming. I wish Foxy, Tomas, Skip & Enid were more fully realized characters. I even wanted more from Anna! But overall just a spooky wild time and quite a thrill for my first T Kingfisher read.

Amelia Hruby

Creepy and supernatural. Darkly imaginative. 

DNF at page 245 and skimmed the rest of it. the concept is cool, i suppose, but the plot was too messy for the story to be scary or even remotely interesting. really wanted to like this book, but after forcing myself to read the last hundred or so pages i had to put it down. unfortunately all the characters are very obnoxiously written and the protag's motivations are unbelievable at best and sloppily written at worst. the protag's voice was very annoying as well, and seeing as the story is written from her perspective... overall it comes across as very amateur, like something you'd find on wattpad. disappointing, as this author wrote a different book that i easily consider one of my favorites.

*A slow-burn supernatural horror with snarky undertones*

After a couple of disappointing reads, I turned back to a reliable author. Everything I’ve read by Kingfisher has delivered a great mix of snarky and spooky. And fortunately, 

The story is about a young woman who gets stuck cleaning out the house of her deceased grandmother. Mouse knew it would be a huge undertaking, but little did she know that her grandmother was a huge hoarder… and that something evil lurked around the house.

The story is told in first person by Mouse as if she was recounting what had happened to her. It was a rambling narrative with heavy foreshadowing, but I was entertained the whole time.

“I’m a freelance editor. I turn decent books into decently readable books and hopeless books into hopeless books with better grammar.”

 came out first, but I read it after the other ones. Anyway, they have common themes of North Carolina settings, evil grandmothers, snarky narrators, horror meshed with humor, and slow-burn supernatural elements. And speaking of slow-burn, I do feel the need to point out that this is an atmospheric story, but the supernatural and horror elements do take a while to build up. So if you want cover-to-cover bloody horror, this isn’t the book for you.

And everything is made better because of her goofy dog, Bongo.

“Bongo is an excellent watchdog, by which I mean that he will watch very alertly as the serial killer breaks into the house and skins me.”

This was another entertaining hit from Kingfisher, and I look forward to reading more of her books.

Characters and Character Development: 4 Stars

Colleen

4 Stars

*A slow-burn supernatural horror with snarky undertones*


After a couple of disappointing reads, I turned back to a reliable author. Everything I’ve read by Kingfisher has delivered a great mix of snarky and spooky. And fortunately, The Twisted Ones was no exception.

The story is about a young woman who gets stuck cleaning out the house of her deceased grandmother. Mouse knew it would be a huge undertaking, but little did she know that her grandmother was a huge hoarder… and that something evil lurked around the house.

The story is told in first person by Mouse as if she was recounting what had happened to her. It was a rambling narrative with heavy foreshadowing, but I was entertained the whole time.

“I’m a freelance editor. I turn decent books into decently readable books and hopeless books into hopeless books with better grammar.”


The Twisted Ones had a lot in common with The Hollow Places and A House with Good Bones. Yes, I realize The Twisted Ones came out first, but I read it after the other ones. Anyway, they have common themes of North Carolina settings, evil grandmothers, snarky narrators, horror meshed with humor, and slow-burn supernatural elements. And speaking of slow-burn, I do feel the need to point out that this is an atmospheric story, but the supernatural and horror elements do take a while to build up. So if you want cover-to-cover bloody horror, this isn’t the book for you.

And everything is made better because of her goofy dog, Bongo.

“Bongo is an excellent watchdog, by which I mean that he will watch very alertly as the serial killer breaks into the house and skins me.”


This was another entertaining hit from Kingfisher, and I look forward to reading more of her books.


RATING FACTORS:
Ease of Reading: 4 Stars
Writing Style: 4 Stars
Characters and Character Development: 4 Stars
Plot Structure and Development: 4 Stars
Level of Captivation: 4 Stars
Originality: 3 Stars

Legitimately got chills often while reading this one and often had to be assured I was not going to contract a memetic virus.

parallel universe hollow places <3 i think i need to reread hollow places because i gave that a low-ish rating but it’s stuck with me & i think i like it more than the twisted ones. they’re both very similar, i loved the setting & the imagery & the characters (though i didn’t find it at all scary, maybe only a tiny bit unsettling). kingfisher uses the perfect amount of realism & fantasy and i love it <3 

parallel universe hollow places <3 i think i need to reread hollow places because i gave that a low-ish rating but it’s stuck with me & i think i like it more than the twisted ones. they’re both very similar, i loved the setting & the imagery & the characters (though i didn’t find it at all scary, maybe only a tiny bit unsettling). kingfisher uses the perfect amount of realism & fantasy and i love it <3 

3.75 stars? 3.9? i’m not sure :]

C. J. Daley 

I read this one for the Thriller, Books, and Coffee Book Club. We all had various levels of enjoyment for it. 

Personally, this one did not work for me. It was a slow burn that was all slow. I never felt a ‘burn.’ In the instances where this actually felt like a horror, the narration immediately buried it under incredibly awkward sarcasm and mind numbing repetition. I read someone that praised the author for subverting the isolation trope and after finishing it, I honestly feel like it was subverted simply by the author not writing it at all. Because of that it read very flat, missing what could have been a super atmospheric tension. 

It was confusing in a way that felt like the author usually writes contemporary or drama or slice of life work and then after finishing one, they decided to make it into a mystery/horror. 

At one point the narrator’s dog runs away into the woods and she simply gives up? Like doesn’t search for him, doesn’t seem all that sad, doesn’t leave food or treats out or turn the forest upside down to get him back? I actually sent the group chat the gif from Billy Madison “you get your ass out there and you find that f**kin’ dog.” I just don’t get that. I would destroy for my dog. 

Things really heated up when the novel went from absolutely no action to exploding into an almost action movie finish. It really heightened the confusion for me, and I was not a fan of it. Personally a 1/5* for me. I considered returning the book, or pyrotechnics. 

“‘Don’t mind me, hon, I get sarcastic when I’m scared to the tits.”’ Did enjoy this line though.

"When Mouse's dad asks her to clean out her dead grandmother's house, she says yes. After all, how bad could it be? Answer: pretty bad. Grandma was a hoarder, and her house is packed to the gills with useless garbage. That would be horrific enough, but there's more. Mouse stumbles across her step-grandfather's journal, which at first seems to be the ravings of a broken mind. Until she encounters some of the terrifying things he described herself. Alone in the woods with her dog, Mouse has to confront a series of impossible terrors--because sometimes the things that go bump in the night are real, and they're looking for you. And if she doesn't face them head on, she might not survive to tell the tale" --

Jacqueline Englund

Unfortunately I dod not enjoy this story nearly as much as I had hoped. Although it was atmospheric at times, it was just not as creepy as I would have liked. That being said, I absolutely loved Mouse, and her narration! First time I read a horror story and could totally relate to the main characters thoughts. But my absolute favorite part was Foxy, her character alone made this story worth reading!

Gabriela Gorgoni

I didn't mind this book, but definitely not one of my favorites in the horror/thriller section. The plot is a little bit all over the place and hard to follow. Wouldn't reread but also could finish it.

Ryan LaFerney

Well, I'll never look at hoarding the same way after reading The Twisted Ones, I'll tell you that much.

"Then I made faces like the faces on the rocks, and I twisted myself about like the twisted ones, and I lay down flat on the ground like the dead ones." This is a line from the "The White People" by Arthur Machen, a 1904 short story that H. P. Lovecraft considered one of the greatest horror tales ever written (and could serve as lyrics to a Wolves in The Throne Rooms tune). The title of T. Kingfisher's horror novel appears in that quote. This is no accident. The Twisted Ones ties itself to Machen's legendary story on purpose. The Twisted Ones is a story within a story. 

The Twisted Ones, written by T. Kingfisher, has a deceptively simple premise. It is about a woman realizing she’s not alone while cleaning out her late grandmother’s remote North Carolina home. Melissa, a freelance editor who goes by the nickname Mouse, arrives in rural North Carolina to put her late grandmother's house in order. Sadly, it is a hoarder’s paradise, but Mouse digs in with her beloved coonhound, Bongo, at her side. One day Mouse comes across a notebook that belonged to her deceased step-grandfather, a quiet man named Frederick Cotgrave whom Mouse never particularly bonded with when she was growing up. She becomes fascinated with him, however, as she reads deeper into the notebook. In its pages, a mystery begins to unfold, even as odd people and even odder apparitions start to converge on Mouse as if she were a magnet. And then while walking Bongo in the woods, Mouse stumbles on a strange gathering of stones on top of a hill that shouldn’t exist. After discovering a gruesome deer effigy hanging in the woods, Mouse confides in her neighbor Foxy. Something is lurking just outside Mouse's house, and that effigy isn't of this world, but just when she’s ready to skip town, Bongo disappears. Things only get creepier (and stranger) from there. 

The Twisted Ones is deeply unsettling and atmospheric but it is balanced with moments of levity and lightness. It features a creepy, abandoned house with a room full of dolls, creepy woods, and a strange gathering of stones on a hilltop. Yes. But T. Kingfisher's characters provide relief. Mouse is a highly relatable and frequently funny narrator who seems like a real thirty-something woman. Another source of both comfort and comic relief is Mouse’s hound Bongo. He’s a dedicated companion, loyal and loving, like the best dogs are. And Foxy, Mouse's sixty-something nearby neighbor is a hoot.

The Twisted Ones is an inventive horror novel that takes “The White People” as its launching point and creates a modern-day spin on it. Kingfisher had some fun with the “found manuscript” trope, and part of that was making Mouse a freelance editor. When she finds and reads through her step-grandfather’s manuscript, the editor in her can’t help but make comments. This made for amusing reading.

This would be a great book to give to a reluctant horror reader. It has just enough scares but its not excessive. Sure there are horrors unique and grotesque, visceral and terrifying: decaying skeleton monsters that patrol the woods; a deer carcass, twisted and vivisected; an effigy made out of Mouse's grandmother's junk. But the prose is lyrical and Mouse is so humorous, it often takes the edge of the horror.

With that being said, you still might find yourself locking all your doors and keeping all your lights on.

Janice Hopper

I started the book again from the beginning. :)

Others have summarized the book: the old house in the woods of NC; the hoarder's mess inside and the necessity of clearing it out; the people down the way, who are nice & helpful; the strange goings-on in the woods behind the house, the weird manuscript left by the step-granddad. The dog. :)

First off, I liked the characters. I liked Melissa, known as Mouse. I liked neighbors Foxy, Tomas, and Skip, even though the men weren't really that involved. I liked the dog Bongo, even though I'm not a hound person.

I'm moderately ok reading horror as long as it's not a woman stalked/terrorized by a man; serial killer(s); mutilation, lots of gore, or body horror. Fortunately for me, there's not much of any of that in this book. There are some genuinely creepy bit though. I'm nearly always interested in weird portals to different places, and this book has a creepy one. There are other really creepy things going on, but nothing that provoked IN ME a visceral shudder. +1 for not omitting that bit. It is part of the horror. 

I'd give this a solid 3.5 stars. I'm still trying to figure out why I don't feel it rates a bit higher. If I figure it out, I'll edit the review. 

One little thing that bothered me. It's a bit of a spoiler, so let me see if I can put it behind a spoiler tag:
 (view spoiler)[ At one point, Mouse trips on the stairs and falls. Her first thought is FOR HER LAPTOP, and NOT FOR HER DOG, the dogs she KNOWS WILL RUN AWAY. Ok, it's a plot point to set the last bit of the book in motion. But I used to be a pet sitter/dog walker. I also have dogs. I've fallen while walking a dog. The FIRST THING you do is to be sure the DOG is still with you. At least, that's how it works with me. But everyone's different, I guess. I may have held this against Mouse a little. But without Bongo running away, the last half of the book probably wouldn't exist. (hide spoiler)]

I read this while knitting my Marcasite sweater. :)










_______________________________________________________

I just wanted to note this quickly: I pre-ordered this book because I am an unapologetic Ursula Vernon fan-girl. I opened the book for the first time this morning while I was drowsing in bed. Because brains are weird, I'd read a few sentences, drowse off, but my mind would keep going, making up a TV version of the book, complete with extra characters and colors and details. Then I'd have to wake up and try to sort out the REAL story from my brain-constructed story. LOL. I'll probably start over now that I'm properly awake. :D

My second reread for the year. This book is SO GOOD AND CREEPY.

jaz ☁️

Pretty boring but the horror elements were good. The way the story was told like this inner monologue wasn’t doing it for me. 

Christine Bruce

Eerie and atmospheric, a woman with a stagnant life- her dog and her computer being her two great loves- goes to North Carolina to clear out her cruel and vindictive grandmother’s house following her death. She finds the house in the late stages of a hoarding situation, including a room filled entirely with creepy realistic dolls. As she clears the house, she starts to feel like things are watching her, she starts to hear strange sounds, and then she starts to see strange figures in the woods. Figures that get closer and closer. 

An all around creepy tale that I throughly enjoyed. Learning about her step-grandfather, a sweet old man that cared for her and lived under the thumb of his vindictive wife, through a diary he kept was one of my favorite aspects. His memories of wales, and his tutor/friend Ambrose, and his snide jabs at his wife whom he knew was reading his journal all made him feel like a second lead in the book. 

I was also hugely concerned for the dog, Bongo, as animals don’t have a good track record in horrors. But don’t worry, the dog lives. And is actually seriously integral to the plot progression. Allowing things to occur believably and without relying on the main character making stupid choices. 

When the story turns to the fantastical, the “twisted ones” “the white ones” “the holler people” that’s when the story got great. The inherent folklore throughout was my other favorite aspect. That interconnection in folk stories across boarders, language, and oceans. And then the turn to make it creepy. Perfection. 

💭 
8/10
The dog lives
A horror for anthropologists
Long drawn out “something watching you” scenes

Absolutely loved this book!  It was an insanely amazing mix of folklore, family history, isolating energy, small town vibes, and childhood-level fear.  Definitely a book I wish I could forget, just to read again, even though it was terrifying in the best way.  Plus, the characters are so unique while being regular folk.  Also, the dog doesn't die and is arguably the hero!

Mirella Hetekivi

Faith

I actually really liked this! As per usual, my favorite part was the build up before we actually saw the monsters etc. I just love when the atmosphere is super thick and we're jumping at every little thing because we don't even know what we're scared of yet. Def wanna pick up more by this author.

Laura

This had some of the best horror set-up I've seen in a long time. It was funny and spooky in a way that not a lot of books manage to balance so well, and I'm always a sucker for good folk horror and Deer That Aren't Quite Right. Unfortunately, after all the work put into setting up this great story the book  then promptly then throws it away and it never gets any better. The author's attempt to ramp up the tension just pulled me right out of the story. I slogged through to the end because I was already several hours into the audiobook, but I kept thinking it felt like a child's twist. "You thought one effigy tapping on the window was scary? Well, what if there was FIFTY of them and they took you to JAIL?" Sometimes less is more!

I'm giving it 3 stars because the first part had me enthralled but no higher because the story ultimately just failed to land for me. It's one of those books that I won't offer up as a recommendation but I also won't encourage you to skip if I hear you're giving it a shot. Solid 3-star work, T. Kingfisher. Solid 3-star work.

shellybn

This book was frightening the perfect way--I would turn out the light after reading in bed, and listen to the house settle around me, scaring me even more. I liked the voice with which the author wrote, which was a conversational 1st person. I found this book to be much more enjoyable than the contemporary "literary" fiction that recently took me several weeks to struggle through. I feel as if I know the narrator and the other characters. This is definitely a highly enjoyable book for those who like something scary that is not about demons or serial killers. I would have liked to find out that the grandmother's hoarding was actually an attempt to keep monsters out, but that is a minor criticism. If you like creepy books, I highly recommend this one.

Award-winning author Ursula Vernon, writing as T. Kingfisher, presents a terrifying tale of hidden worlds and monstrous creations... When Mouse’s dad asks her to clean out her dead grandmother's house, she says yes. After all, how bad could it be? Answer: pretty bad. Grandma was a hoarder, and her house is stuffed with useless rubbish. That would be horrific enough, but there’s more—Mouse stumbles across her step-grandfather’s journal, which at first seems to be filled with nonsensical rants...until Mouse encounters some of the terrifying things he described for herself. Alone in the woods with her dog, Mouse finds herself face to face with a series of impossible terrors—because sometimes the things that go bump in the night are real, and they’re looking for you. And if she doesn’t face them head on, she might not survive to tell the tale.

Lauren Attaway

I heard so much abut how scary this book was that I kind of side-eyed the premise before I even began reading. It's funny to me that I can watch so many scary movies and still get that looking-through-fingers reading moment. This book felt like a movie that would have me freaked out on the way home from the theater, back when we still went to theaters. There was absolutely one peeking out reading moment that surprised me with its scary execution. 
Mouse, narrator and snarky rationalist, is cleaning out her late grandmother's house as a favor to her sick elderly dad. Kingfisher really establishes the claustrophobia of a house bursting with junk and the trapped feeling uniquely bound in a family favor. 
And that ending! I can't wait to read more from this new-to-me author.

Christy Faun 

While this book is a little bogged down by the main character, who I did not find to be very like-able, there is still an interesting and spooky center to be enjoyed. If you like mysterious notes left behind and bumps in the night, you’re in for a treat. 

Connor DeStefano

Not really a scary book, maybe more freaky than anything? Loved the characters, especially Bongo and Foxy - they kept me going when the story sort of dragged on. It never really caught me. Narration was really great too!

Jordan Robinson

celeste

i don't know what went wrong with this one, because from the get go this felt like a clash of roanoke and don't blink from doctor who. i was intrigued and creeped out from the beginning, but somehow towards the middle it started to drag and be completely weird, and not in a good way. the revelation of the hidden city, or whatever that was, was just just another wtf moment that didn't manage to engage me at all. it's sad because this book really had the potential to be a creepy southern folk horror tale but it was just not.

Stephen Wardle &
The Twisted Ones by T. Kingfisher

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