Name: Kyra Cracchiola's review of In My Dreams I Hold a Knife by Ashley Winstead
Item: In My Dreams I Hold a Knife
Rating: 3.5
Author: Kyra Cracchiola

Ashley Winstead

"Jessica Miller plans to triumphantly return to Duquette University for her ten year reunion festivities. She's the most successful out of her entire group of friends, and she's ready to flaunt her achievements...even though her "friend group," known on campus as the East House Seven, doesn't really exist anymore. Ten years ago, Heather, one of their own, was murdered, fracturing the once close knit group. And then another friend was accused of committing the vile act, shattering whatever friendly feelings remained. Jessica thinks she's coming back to campus to bask in a wave of glory. She and her friends have no idea that someone has set an elaborate trap to catch the real killer and close the cold case for good."--

A Novel

In My Dreams I Hold a Knife

Alli

“I thought she was you!" Mint screamed, pointing at me, eyes blazing. ”I thought I was hurting you!"

It wasn't fair. People deserved more than that, more than a small, brief existence, only to fade away in the end.

"Sometimes I used to watch you," she said. "When you didn't know I was there."

It would be too obvious if she was the killer right??? 👀 

Happiness? That was a luxury I'd never been able to afford. Besides, Coop didn't know that I didn't deserve to be happy, even if Id wanted it.

I wanted them to see perfection. I ached for it in the deep, dark core of me: to be so good I left other people in the dust. 

Jessica Marie Miller. You have to know by now I love you. I made a sound of surprise. He smiled. "I feel like I've worn it on my sleeve since the day I met you." "The fortune" I said, three years too late. "Of course.”

Memories are powerful things. But-and this is important, my therapist said-so are the dark spaces. The things you choose, consciously or not, to repress. Always, they're the things you need protection from. The too much: too terrifying, too shameful, too devastating. The things that, if allowed, would threaten the very core of who you're supposed to be.

It was so easy to tell what you were feeling. It was right there on vour face for everyone to see. Longing when you passed other students, happiness when you saw Blackwell Tower, worry when you got close to Perkins Hall, where your class was. I remember thinking how innocent that was, or brave, how much I wanted to know vou."

I wanted to ask you out, freshman year" he said in a rush. "You taped the fortune on your door, and I thought there was hope. But then You Bid Day, when I walked into my room and you and Mint were on the bed... Mint was my roonmmate. And you obviously liked him. So I told myself to forget you. But I never could"

 "You could have" I said quietly. "You could've been with anyone. They all wonder why you don't date."

 He shook his head. "Tell them I've been out of my mind for you since we were eighteen. There's no one else for me. I thought I could handle being with you in secret, because at least Id get part of you. I told you when we started that I wanted more- I could still hear those words: I'm telling you upfront. I need more. I need you over and over. Even remembering them brought heat to my face. "But more's not enough. 

What do you want, then?" My heart was pounding so hard I could feel it rattling my rib cage. He looked at me, green eyes serious. "I want everything.” 

Instead of looking at me-my desperation-with disgust, Coop's face softened. It was a look I knew well. I used to think of it as one of his private faces, an expression he reserved just for me, a secret code for a secret feeling. Id learned, too late, that it had always been bigger than that.

I shivered, and he captured my mouth. His was warm and tasted faintly herbal. I’m not an Eagle Scout. Il do things you hate." Coop. The boy who always said things that were too close to the truth, the one who made me uncomfortable, who looked at me too long too closely. "Why are you telling me this?" "Im giving you an out.  "Ive wanted you since the first day I saw you, walking to class in your pleated skirt. I've spent three years thinking about this. Three years, not allowed to touch you, or breathe a word.”

“Jess." When I turned, I found Coop leaning so close our knees almost touched. I inched back. My heartbeat notched higher. And Irealie lized: It was just the two of us. In a private room. "I understand everything about you. I know you're obsesser making Kappa the top sorority because the Chi Os rejected you. I now you're obsessed with Mint and the Phi Delts because everyone else is. and it's a status symbol. I know you sneak Adderall to study all night even though econ makes you want to kill yourself. And now I know you charge thousands of dollars to a credit card you can't afford just to fit in with Ijumped to my feet. "Stop it, Coop. Shut up." He got to his feet, too, taking a step toward me. When l pulled back, he grinned, a glint in his eyes. I understand," he said slowly, drawing the words out, that youd do anything to win. Yoưre kind of a sociopath"

He dropped his keys on his desk and walked to the door. "Stay right there. I'm going to get us root beer and Red Vines so we can get some sugar in your system, Those are your favorites, right? You're always eating Red Vines when you study." 

The next day, rolling awake in bed, trash-bag dress sticking to my legs, I finally opened Coops fortune. Seven strange words: Today, some- thing starts that will never end. 

I shook my head, the movement slight. He smiled a small, knowing smile and held the joint out to Heather, who took it immediately. His eyes found ne again. Brandon Cooper. East House, floor three" Jessica Miller. I pressed sweaty hands against my dress. "On four:" "I know. He reached into his pocket, digging for something. When he pulled his hand out, he held a small piece of paper. "I got this for you.

I took a deep breath and yelled, "Come on, Coop" He turned and raised his brows. I raised mine. A challenge. Suddenly he was slapping one of the guys hands, passing something between them, and walking in the door, cuting across the dance floor, Caro and Frankie whooped; Jack grinned with the whiskey bottle outstretched. And inside me was a feeling I barely recognized, one I didnt have words for. The closest might have been Look what I an do or Oh, what have I done. But Coop didn't come to me. He walked straight to Caro

Lindsay

Genesis (@whisperingchapters)

This book felt like gossip girl and Abercrombie & Fitch in the 2000s. Lots of twists and turns! Only thing is that the audiobook DEF should’ve had different voice actors bc there’s like 8 characters and it gets confusing lol. 

Kyra Cracchiola

I hated everyone but Coop (he's on verrrryyyyyy thin ice tho).

Holly

Denaiir

I'm SO disappointed that I didn't like that one more. I probably had too high expectations since several people recommended it and gave it 5 stars. I guess I don't like the "dark academia" setting that much: bad people, stupid pranks, annoying rivalries, rich pricks. It reminded my a lot about "The IT Girl": too long, about a hundred pages should have been cut out and the plot was not that gripping. At the end of the main plot it picked up a little and I forgot how I hated the main character, but then the epilogue part went on and on and on and it lost a star.

The premise of this book is really interesting and, while not original, is done really well. I was able to guess the killer however his motivation was unknown until the reveal and definitely was unexpected. At times the writing felt a little juvenile but overall a good solid mystery book

Soph

Throw a bunch of pretentious rich kids and jealous perfectionists together, add some cheating, lying, a murder and let chaos ensue. I could not put this book down - there was so much DRAMA and everyone is the worst - I ate it up. A great dark academia thriller for the fall if you're looking for a quick & entertaining read. 

Reem

It was entertaining enough and full of drama. Would recommend just for the drama lol 

Amira BEN

3.5 ⭐️ 

It was entertaining enough and full of drama. Would recommend just for the drama lol 

Katherine Bates 

3.5 
The main character is 32 in present day and 22 in past day, and read as if she’s 16. Overall a good thriller and a quick read.

Michaella 

one of the only mystery thrillers that I didn’t guess the plot of 1/4 into the book 

Kaitlyn Dodos

The mystery, the murder, the characters just so good! 

This is a great book in what happens when you leave your daddy issues unchecked! 

The mystery, the murder, the characters just so good! 

This is a great book in what happens when you leave your daddy issues unchecked! 

I freaking love a murder mystery and then add in a duel timeline??? Right up my alley

Brianna Foley

I really enjoyed this book. Read it super fast as well. I enjoyed the random different perspective of what happened that night. I liked that the main character wasn’t suppose to be the ideal hero. I enjoyed how the story ended. I did want more current timelines than the present, but that’s just me nitpicking. I would definitely recommend this book!  I love a good whodunit? Book.

Bookworm

Gem Koeman

** spoiler alert **
            CAWPILE Review: 8.14 

I feel like all the people in this book needed some serious therapy and it would have saved them a lot of trouble.



 Characters (9) 

Took me a little while to wrap my head around who was who, the cast was around seven people with other names jumping in and out. After some time listening I worked out who was who and what they were all about. 

I loved that the characters in the book were almost all unlikeable to some extent, the female MC being almost hateable from the start. Over time you realise why they acted in certain ways and it sort of unravelled what their end game was going to be in the whodunnit.

Atmosphere (8) 

Dark academia vibes. I don't really know much about US universities but I pictured this one just like a larger version of the high school from Gossip Girl. 

I like how the author pulled in the fraternaties/sororities plus the seasonal events calenders - this made the world seem much more real. I also gave extra points for the Eurovision party and the Buffy mention (Hush/The Body are also my favourite episodes).

 Writing (8) 

Not much to be said here, it was easy to follow and there wasn't anything that pulled me out of the flow.

 Plot (7) 

Little lower rating here but that's mainly because the whole thing is a thriller and it became a little easy to unwrap who was going to be the killer. I feel like some of the side characters in the seven didn't get ample time in the plot so I didn't really feel for them in any way, Courtney/Caro in particular.

I also wanted there to be a little more oomph from Eric, after that first bit where he told them all that he knew there were secrets I felt like he blended into the background a bit. 

 Intrigue (8) 

I was interested to see how all of the characters actions were influenced by their backgrounds. Almost all of them had severe issues and like I said at the top, they all just needed a bit of therapy. 

 Logic (8) 

All seemed fine on this front to me, all the characters had huge egos plus lack of communication and refletive skills. The whole setup was a car crash waiting to happen.

 Enjoyment (9) 

I read the book over ten days which is quite a long period for me but with Christmas/New Year that's to be expected. When I was listening to the book I was totally invested and loved every second. It was really close to a five star for me and I would totally recommend it to anyone that likes thriller books and gossip girl vibes



xoxo

my first impression of this book was it reminded me of pretty little liars.. not that it was bad but that was the vibe i was getting from it. i thought i was going to hate the main character for the whole duration of this book, until i met the other characters. there was something to love and something to hate about them and it's frustrating (to me).

i want to add that i like the way this was written. the transition from the present to the past was 

 cause i imagine it as them going back to that moment like what they do in movies/shows. i only started reading recently but i don't think i have ever read something that was so hard to put down. there were many instances where i had to force myself to stop reading a chapter cus i needed to sleep / do something.

as for the pace, i didn't think it was that slow. i love the introduction of the characters (though overwhelming at first since you're being thrown 485438 different names). but after that, the fun starts. there was a couple of times where i kept gasping chapter to chapter because of how shocked i was. i started reading this with no expectations and predictions so maybe that was why i was so shocked at each revelation. 

jessica and coop. these two seriously got me kicking my feet. as bad as it is since she was cheating on mr. trashcan... but damn!!! for some reason i really felt like coop loved jessica. it was unfortunate for caro though and i feel her, but i really was rooting for coopsica... safe to say the ending made me happy.

overall, this is probably my favorite mystery thriller book (for now) and i'm kinda sad that i finished it cus i grew to like some characters. i'm gonna start a new book right away so i don't get that post book depression or smth.

my first impression of this book was it reminded me of pretty little liars.. not that it was bad but that was the vibe i was getting from it. i thought i was going to hate the main character for the whole duration of this book, until i met the other characters. there was something to love and something to hate about them and it's frustrating (to me).

i want to add that i like the way this was written. the transition from the present to the past was chef kiss cause i imagine it as them going back to that moment like what they do in movies/shows. i only started reading recently but i don't think i have ever read something that was so hard to put down. there were many instances where i had to force myself to stop reading a chapter cus i needed to sleep / do something.

as for the pace, i didn't think it was that slow. i love the introduction of the characters (though overwhelming at first since you're being thrown 485438 different names). but after that, the fun starts. there was a couple of times where i kept gasping chapter to chapter because of how shocked i was. i started reading this with no expectations and predictions so maybe that was why i was so shocked at each revelation. 

jessica and coop. these two seriously got me kicking my feet. as bad as it is since she was cheating on mr. trashcan... but damn!!! for some reason i really felt like coop loved jessica. it was unfortunate for caro though and i feel her, but i really was rooting for coopsica... safe to say the ending made me happy.

overall, this is probably my favorite mystery thriller book (for now) and i'm kinda sad that i finished it cus i grew to like some characters. i'm gonna start a new book right away so i don't get that post book depression or smth.

Sarah Pino

3.5 ⭐️

Am I procrastinating on my report? Yes. 

Hmmm there are days when you just rate a book based on your gut and you dont or cant justify why the rating is the way it is, it just is. Yup. It's a 3.5 star book. It was alright and exciting at times but I wasn't amazed.

Lottie

This was a great book tbh. I loved how it developed and just generally the story. To be honest i did not expect the ending but it was very shocking but also a bit rushed. Overall great and lovely kinda horror story? 4.5/5 (only because of the rushed ending otherwise 5/5)

Louise 

*4.25 ⭐

That ending was so satisfying!!!

Alexa M

this was an extremely solid thriller! one of the best i've read in a while. the different timelines made this such a fast paced book and i felt like most of the characters were pretty well-rounded. like why was i crying over a ship in this.... anyways highly recommend!

Samantha 

Leisha Chadwick

omg, i absolutely loved this book. one of the best murder mysteries i’ve ever read. can’t wait to read more from the author!!🫶🏻

James Winduss

I honestly don't know how I feel about this book. I finished it in less than a day so I know I didn't hate it, but the rest is all a bit unclear.

Likes: I am a sucker for a whodunnit and this one was fairly solid for the most part. At a certain point near the end before the big reveal it is pretty clear who committed the murder, but I do appreciate that the author kept me guessing for a while, particularly in the first third of the book.

Dislikes: I disliked almost everything about the main character. On the one hand, I sympathise with her because of some of the things she had experienced, but for the most part she was actually just a horrible person and I think she got off pretty lightly in the end all things considered. I also felt like the other characters that the author created as part of the 'East House Seven' were all kind of cliche stereotypes in the end and not in a good way either. For the most part, I liked the way the author wrote, but there were certain sections and snippets of dialogue where it just felt like someone trying too hard to push a certain picture into my brain, rather than letting me form the image myself, if that makes sense?

So basically, the whodunnit was good, but the characters were all kind of meh. Overall a solid 3 stars, I don't think I could go higher or lower.

Jamieson

3.5*

I love mysteries where the set up is like ‘there is X amount of people and one of them has to be the killer’ but I hated the structure of this book. Because the way it had every suspect outlining their story as a process of elimination just meant you knew the last one to talk would be the murderer and it kinda killed the mystery for me. That said I did still enjoy the process of listening and the way the different interconnected storyline’s unravelled. But I don’t really see why this is SO hyped up

celene

** spoiler alert **
           what in the cruel summer (2021) plot twist of an ending was that,,, um

Genesis (@whisperingchapters) &
In My Dreams I Hold a Knife by Ashley Winstead

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Genesis (@whisperingchapters) &In My Dreams I Hold a Knife by Ashley Winstead

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Join the club

Genesis (@whisperingchapters) &
In My Dreams I Hold a Knife by Ashley Winstead