Gemma Hartley

Gemma Hartley wrote an article in Harper's Bazaar in September 2017 called 'Women Aren't Nags - We're Just Fed Up', which instantly went viral. The piece, and this book, are about 'emotional labour', i.e. the unpaid, often unnoticed effort and work that goes into keeping everyone around you comfortable and happy. The Problem That Had No Name tackles the big issues surrounding emotional labour: the historical underpinnings and roots in feminism, the benefits and burdens of this kind of effort, and the specific contexts where emotional labour plays a major but undervalued role, including relationships, work, sex, parenting, politics and self-care.

Navigating and redefining emotional labour for good

Fed Up

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Changing this dynamic will not hurt men while helping women; it will help set everyone free. Setting an expectation for a more equal distribution of emotional labour is not the transferral of a burden but an invitation for all of us to change our lives for the better. 

From Gemma Hartley, the journalist who ignited a national conversation on emotional labor, comes Fed Up, a bold dive into the unpaid, invisible work women have shouldered for too long—and an impassioned vision for creating a better future for us all. Day in, day out, women anticipate and manage the needs of others. In relationships, we initiate the hard conversations. At home, we shoulder the mental load required to keep our households running. At work, we moderate our tone, explaining patiently and speaking softly. In the world, we step gingerly to keep ourselves safe. We do this largely invisible, draining work whether we want to or not—and we never clock out. No wonder women everywhere are overtaxed, exhausted, and simply fed up. In her ultra-viral article “Women Aren’t Nags—We’re Just Fed Up,” shared by millions of readers, Gemma Hartley gave much-needed voice to the frustration and anger experienced by countless women. Now, in Fed Up, Hartley expands outward from the everyday frustrations of performing thankless emotional labor to illuminate how the expectation to do this work in all arenas—private and public—fuels gender inequality, limits our opportunities, steals our time, and adversely affects the quality of our lives. More than just name the problem, though, Hartley teases apart the cultural messaging that has led us here and asks how we can shift the load. Rejecting easy solutions that don’t ultimately move the needle, Hartley offers a nuanced, insightful guide to striking real balance, for true partnership in every aspect of our lives. Reframing emotional labor not as a problem to be overcome, but as a genderless virtue men and women can all learn to channel in our quest to make a better, more egalitarian world, Fed Up is surprising, intelligent, and empathetic essential reading for every woman who has had enough with feeling fed up.

Fed Up Navigating and redefining emotional labour for good

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