Know My Name A Memoir

Agonizing and powerful

** spoiler alert ** "And finally, to girls everywhere, I am with you. On nights when you feel alone, I am with you. When people doubt you or dismiss you, I am with you. I fought everyday for you. So never stop fighting, I believe you. As the author Anne Lamott once wrote, "Lighthouses don't go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining." Although I can't save every boat, I hope that by speaking today, you absorbed a small amount of light, a small knowing that you can't be silenced, a small satisfaction that justice was served, a small assurance that we are getting somewhere, and a big, big knowing that you are important, unquestionably, you are untouchable, you are beautiful, you are to be valued, respected, undeniably, every minute of every day, you are powerful and nobody can take that away from you. To girls everywhere, I am with you. Thank you." It pains me to acknowledge I did not focus on this Stanford rape case at the time of trial. I know I must have skipped through trending hashtags and BuzzFeed headlines concerning this. I shielded myself from the news because it was heartbreaking. I was privileged enough to step away from this. Whereas, Chanel had to continously suffer from the consequences of Brock's actions and battled internal and external demons for ~3 years until the case was closed. Chanel's writing is poetic—filled with strong imagery, impactful metaphors, and lyrical prose. I thought it was truly special whenever she would breathe life to her mother's wisdom and skill through her writing. I felt immersed in her inner thoughts when her mental health started deteriorating from insomnia, depression, panic attacks, and the isolating feeling of loneliness. Chanel gave a harrowing account on the criminal justice system and the tribulations she faced figuring out the logistics of charging someone, understanding all the jargon, the endless delays and waiting around, debating how she should look (e.g. what to wear, what makeup to put on), and practicing how to master a calm and collected tone of voice to avoid sounding too emotional or angry when on trial. Moreover, she faced verbal abuse in which every detail about her life was examined while hearing manipulative and false narratives; it led her to feel smaller and self-conscious. It was an overbearing process. A marathon that cannot be powered solely through adrenaline alone but through resilience and support from loved ones. Chanel also talked about problematic and harmful socio-cultural norms affecting women. She wrote about her angry outbursts and an ongoing sense of hostility. This book should be read by everyone, so people can learn and empathize with sexual assault victims who have been relentlessly judged for their behaviour and taken down by biases through a system that continously supports privileged people. Social class should not be a determining factor on the leniency of a sentence. At times, I felt disgusted and infuriated reading Brock's statement, the testimony from his friends, family, and teachers, and the antoganizing way Chanel's narrative was twisted and questioned. In a way, Chanel proved to us that the model minority is a myth. She became stronger and more confident fighting for her right. This win, in a significant and symbolic way, is a win for many sexual assault and rape victims who were not able to get justice. I learned a lot from reading Chanel's story. I learned how to dismantle systems by continously demanding for social change and questioning the current system because the system is NOT fixed—more aptly, the system was created and perpetuated by powerful people. I learned to fight myths about sexual assault and rape victims that were spoon-fed to me growing up—allowing me to be part of the problem. Thank you for sharing your story, Chanel Miller. I am a better person for it.

One of the most powerful books I’ve ever read - would give 10/5 if I could!

A must read It's not easy to discuss and think through the uncomfortable and injustice of 'hard' topics. I think we, as individuals should hold ourselves accountable to deepen our comprehension of these 'hard' topics and form our own educated opinions along side empathy Thank you Chanel, for working through your trauma and writing your truth in this memoir

Chanel Miller found the courage to share a story that perfectly describes the aftermath of her sexual assault by a man who thought he had a right to her unconscious body. Knowing that the U.S. justice system cannot handle a sexual assault without destroying the victim's dignity made me mad. But I know that Chanel's words, together with the brave women of the MeToo movement, are bringing change. Slowly but surely. Emily Doe could've stayed out of the spotlight. But she decided to become Chanel Miller and give a voice to all victims of sexual assault. Thank you, Chanel.

5 ⭐️ I cant even begin to describe how amazing this book was. It made me tear up in the first 10 pages, which is saying a lot. Miller has such a stunning way of writing that makes you feel seen, heard, and like she’s right beside you, holding your hand. She has such an indescribable talent of putting you in her shoes, and making you feel everything that she felt. Beyond amazing, a must read.

Thank you, Chanel ❤️

This book is devastating, heartbreaking, frustrating, but also powerful and empowering. I felt everything while reading this: anger, distress, discomfort, sorrow, and hope. This is one of the best memoir I have read, and I highly recommend it. Chanel is so courageous for bringing her story into the light, for sharing the most vulnerable parts of her life to the world. Such an impactful book, and it will always be one.

tears and rage and hope

Everyone should read this book. Thank you, Chanel

so powerful. while her victim impact statement as emily doe is moving, you couldn’t ever know how much more her trauma affected her + harrowing details of her sexual assault without her memoir. her writing is a reflection of who she is, and the amount of notes and lessons i took away from this… chanel miller i’m sending you so so much love — you spoke up for women and girls everywhere.

“Trauma provides a special way of moving through time; years fall away in an instant, we can summon terrorizing feelings as if they are happening in the present.”

“Hold up your head when the tears come, when you are mocked, insulted, questioned, threatened, when they tell you you are nothing, when your body is reduced to openings. The journey will be longer than you imagined, trauma will find you again and again. Do not become the ones who hurt you. Stay tender with your power. Never fight to injure, fight to uplift. Fight because you know that in this life, you deserve safety, joy, and freedom. Fight because it is your life. Not anyone else's. I did it, I am here.”

the reason it took me a month to finish this is i’m getting either angry or teary-eyed every at every fourth paragraph ganon

Poignant, eloquent, exquisitely written. I read this in one sitting mostly in tears but also laughing and marvelling. I appreciate her openness, as it certainly helped women out there feel less alone.The book is not just an invitation to understand the experience of victims in the criminal justice system, and Chanel's experience in particular with rape, trauma, and recovery. She also guides the reader compassionately through the gordian knot of human emotion and personal growth. Miller's writing is beautiful and moving, with a well-crafted narrative.

I heard the audiobook. Chanel's story read in her own words. Her voice breaking in places where she struggled to maintain composure. I felt sad, angry, violent. I admired her strength and self-awareness in the face of a society that stripped her of her privacy, her dignity and even tried to strip her of her words. What I didn't feel at any point of reading this book somehow, to my surprise, was helplessness. Even when I was bawling, my t-shirt soaked with my tears and mucus, I drew strength from her words. Because words are powerful and Chanel's story moves you, not only because of its dark, poignant nature but also because her writing is spectacular. Read this book, even if it triggers you. Know her name, because she's so many of us.

How do I leave a review on a memoir like this? I truly cannot. With the topic that this book was about and with it being something that has actually happened to someone, I cannot give it anything less than 5 stars. It took be a little bit of time to get through it because it is heartbreaking and it had me tearing up at points, however I’m so glad I was able to borrow this from my library.

I’m so so happy I picked this up. It deserves every praise and every 5 star.

as beautiful as it is devastating. chanel's voice is so clear and vivid. took me so long to finish this book (not because i did not like it, but because i found myself weeping every other chapter). definitely a must read!

This book was so so incredible. It was gut-wrenching, raw, and unflinching in its examination of the blatant and unacknowledged ways the judicial system revictimizes those affected by sexual violence. This book is also, however, a careful examination of the human existence. This book made me understand the value of my life, of my family and house and food and acquaintances, better than any other. Miller empowers through her vulnerability, but in a way that's deeply emotional and well thought-out. I will think of this book and what it has to say about family, blessings, love, power, comfort, and autonomy for a very long time. Miller's relationship with her sister, Tiffany, was one of the most moving aspects. As an older sister who has also always been told that my primary task is to keep my younger sibling safe and happy, the way she writes her fierce love and protectiveness resonated deeply. In spite of her difficulties with the trial, her entire worldview was shifted when they came after Tiffany and their relationship. I loved this book because it exposed me to a reality I can never imagine, but I also love it because I could find myself in the pages. 5/5 stars!!

Beautifully written. A modern memoir worth reading.

Had to DNF. I could not get through this book. I tried reading it several times could not get passed chapter 11. Even bought the audiobook. I really wanted to like this book because I empathize with the author, but I believe it could have been shorter.

❤️

No book has made me cry like this one. It’s so sad and it made me so angry but it’s soooo well written and taught me a lot about SA cases in the US legal system. Force boys to read this book!!

read it. highly recommend the audiobook.

A raw and powerful book. absolutely stunning. She eloquently tells the story of the entire grueling, exhausting, and upsetting process SA victims have to endure. I’m so glad Chanel Miller was able to find her voice and finally speak up about not only her rape, but the institutions she had to battle in order to get justice.