(third time reading) 5 stars | realistically this time around I would give it more of a 4.25 stars, but I cannot bump this rating down because this book means too much to me. The relationship between Gena and Finn is just so... I just relate. And how fandom can be such a big part of someone’s life... these thoughts aren’t that coherent, but I write these reviews for myself so it’s not that important. (second time reading) 5 stars | This gives me all the feels. It simultaneously breaks and heals my little fangirl heart. (first time reading) 4.5 stars maybe 5 I'll have to think about it | if I fail my quiz tomorrow, this is the reason why. I can't even express how relatable this book is. To me.

This was a celebration of fandom, which I really appreciated. I liked the way it was told - through messages and emails and blog posts. I've been in fandom for several years and I recognize the style of how fic is written, I recognize the slang used - it's all very authentic. It's clear that the authors have had the same experience in fandom and it made me very happy to see fandom and the good - and the bad - that comes with it. Gena and Finn were very real characters in the way that they communicated with each other. The messages felt like they'd been ripped out of actual chat logs and they were both well-rounded characters. It validates internet friendships, which is nice, and problems show up that don't consume the story - the book revolves around the relationship between Gena and Finn. (view spoiler)[Finn and her relationship with Charlie was nice to see because it's a struggle I guess a lot of young adults have, and so is Gena's mental illness. It felt very much like two people with hectic lives trying to live it out the best they could. (hide spoiler)] It's so cool, in fact, that you get a sense of all these characters from just online correspondences. I didn't like Charlie at first, but he got better and I became more sympathetic towards him. It was funny how they always talked about TylerGirl93 because, yeah, that happens in fandom too. I just wish we got more of the backstory about Zack because it seemed really shallow. (view spoiler)[I also didn't like how sudden it was that the accident happened and Zack died. I felt like that was a totally unprecedented plot twist and I really wish that it went on with a happy ending to fandom because that was really kind of disappointing. I enjoyed the book up until then; after that, it got fuzzy about Gena and Finn's relationship. A lot of other things could have been cleared up - why didn't Gena's parents care more about her, why exactly was Charlie so jealous of Gena. I feel like this book could have gone another way or been longer, because I feel like I was left hanging. I also wish that we got more about the fandom itself - look, I don't dabble in TV fandom but Fangirl had a fandom that was clearly based off something and I think how a fictional fandom was shown could have been dealt with better. (hide spoiler)]

I was really into this book until around page 150. That's when things just took a nosedive for me. I really liked how they addressed how messy life and love are. But I didn't care for how her state after the accident. I also don't appreciate how the end just dropped off. Overall, I still enjoyed the book; just didn't care for the end.

Mixed feelings about this one. The way the story is steeped in fandom is what I always wanted Rainbow Rowell's Fangirl to be, and I adore the format. The long-distance slow-burn is the perfect story to be told in this this anthology of e-mails, texts, and (yes!) blog posts. That said, the sudden change in both tone and pace near the end was... startling, and not necessarily in a good way. I've never been one to let a bad ending-and it's not bad, persay, more sudden and unsatisfying- spoil a good book, but this was a bit much, even for me. I could probably skim through and revisit my favorite bits with fondness, but I'm don't know that I'd ever reread the whole book again. 3.4 out of 5

Weird. Just weird. But good, but also sad.

review to come

I didn't sign up for this. I started reading this because I was in need of a pick me up. I was convinced it was going to be a light, fluffy read. Instead, I got pain. Pain and suffering. Now I'm in a worse place than I was when I picked this up, but, for some reason, I'm thankful for it.

The more I think about this book, the more it frustrates me. Maybe I was just under the wrong impression about what this book was going to be, but I expected more of a F/F romance than what it actually was. The leap between friendship and feelings happened so suddenly, and then ended as quickly as it happened. It just felt... really strange. I didn't think either Gena or Finn knew what they actually wanted from each other and that just left me feeling confused about what I wanted from it. It almost felt like two books; a fandom novel, and a F/F romance had kinda been diluted and mixed together. It left it being overly dramatic with weird payoffs. There were definitely unexpected twists and turns but I'm not sure that's a good thing. The fandom elements of this book were great in the first half, but then it just got incredibly unrealistic and weird and kinda like a runaway train.