Midnight Marked

Midnight Marked was an amazing book. I have read this whole series more than twice, actually about 7 times, and every time I found something that I hadn't read before. This book showed the history of Ethan and Merit and what they went through. While I won't slip up any spoilers, I will say that Midnight Marked surprised me like no other. Like every book in the series there was action, romance, and drama; everything that makes this series the great master piece it is. I do sencerely hope that this series doesn't end any time soon, however great things must come to an end and I know that this series will meet it's end. I do hope that if the next few books are not its last that more books after are not overdoing this series because I do believe that there is overdoing a series even if it is a good one and has stayed that way for 12 books now, it can be overdone. I sure hope it won't get that way. LOVE the author and the books: 100 STARS if I could!

● Marital buddy read with my dear yet contemptible wife Jilly ● It is with deep regret that we have to inform you about the sudden death of the series formerly known as Chicagoland Decaffeinated Vampires. This diet delightful collection of super light lovely stories was a cherished companion for many a dark night. And for many many years. Well I pretty much binge read the whole thing in a week about two years ago, but you're not supposed to know that. Please join us unaffected Inconsolable Decaf Vamps Addicts (IDVA™) in praying for the souls of special snowflake Merit, formerly hot Darth Sullivan, and their boring beloved surpernatural clique. This death was as unexpected as it was shocking. And painful. Oh dear, was it painful. Now if you will allow me, I will hand over to Doctor Dull, our decaf specialist, who will try and explain the causes of this unfortunate passing as best he can. ☠ Acute Boredomitis ☠ Yes, sometimes this book is terribly boring. Other times, it is just plain uninteresting. It can get pretty lackluster, too. But hey, it is not ALL bad. Oh no. At times it gets extremely flat as well. And tiresome. And tedious. And uninspiring. And...and...I wish I had more adjectives to properly convey how I really feel, but I am a lowly, uneducated non-native English speaker and my vocabulary is very limited. But Anyway. Had you forgotten what the previous eleven instalments (yes, ELEVEN (view spoiler)[ (hide spoiler)]) were about? Worry not, for Chloe Neill cares so much about her poor Alzheimer-prone readers that this book is recap paradise. Such a thoughtful author. She recaps. She repeats. She recaps and repeats while recapping and repeating. And that, my Little Barnacles, takes real talent. That, my Little Barnacles, is the mark of a superiorly gifted author. But there is so much more to this book. Oh yes. Much much much more. And it's not ALL about utter, complete boredom and non-stop recaps. Oh no. This book has a fascinating plot, too. Oh yes, absolutely. Ever wanted to know more about crappy alchemy? No? Too bad. Yes? Oh good, you're in for a real treat. The "I want to OD on alchemy" kind of treat, also known as the "all I never wanted to know about alchemy but wasn't afraid to not ask" kind of treat, also known as the "if I hear the word alchemy ever again I will annihilate all life on this planet" kind of treat. I feel so lucky I had the opportunity to read this book and be force fed learn all this uninteresting super cool stuff I never gave a damn about in the first place always wanted to not read about! As an added bonus, and this series being what it is, you will get the Diet, Decaf Alchemy Treatment (DDAT™). Because our gifted author wouldn't want to bother her nitwitted readers with the complexity of actual alchemy. I told you she was a thoughtful woman. She wouldn't want her dimwitted readers to have to use one of their two grey cells while reading this book. This would be much too exhausting for these poor, harebrained beings. Chloe Neill, thank you. From the bottom of our little featherbrained little heads. Okay, let me be honest for a minute: the alchemy might not be of the highest quality here, but at least the scatterbrained readers get a shitload of it. So they should get their fix for a century or two. Chloe Neill, you rock. Thank you SO much. ☠ Severe Cheese Allergy ☠ This is a very painful ailment indeed. Believe me, I know. I have been suffering from this condition for years. And it is actually a miracle I am still alive to talk about it. Such is not the case with our decaf vamps here. To think I was convinced that they were immune to this deadly disease! Oh well, I guess I can't be ALWAYS right ALL the time. Death by cheese. What a tragic end for our diet friends. The "I LUURRRRVE YOU" machine gun (of sinister memory) claimed many victims in this one. Such a harrowing experience. ☠ Extreme Runway-itis ☠ I bet you have never heard of this one. It is one of those orphan diseases that there is no cure for (because lack of funding for research and stuff). The symptoms? A proficiency to describe what everyone looks like and/or is wearing in detail. In MUCH MUCH MUCH DETAIL. So painful for the reader ailing victim. In extreme cases, the person suffering from runway-itis will also show a tendency to dissert on lipstick color and other captivating make-up related issues. And in the final stages of this nasty illness, the patient might even start discussing hair styles. Excruciating pain usually sometimes ensues. Especially for the reader's book. It appears that in most some frequent rare cases the reader develops an allergy to severe runway-it is, said allergy resulting in his/her book being thrown against the nearest wall. The damages sustained are usually sometimes irreparable. Such is the horrifying disease known as runway-itis. I sincerely hope it is not contagious. For the sake of books decaf vamps everywhere. ☠ Intense Methanized Drama-itis ☠ What would this series be without the ritualistic Methan Relationship Dramas (MRDs™)? So charming. So delightful. And not repetitive or annoying at all. Absolutely not. The MRDs™ are SO entertaining. Well, they might have been the first twenty times. Multiply that by the number of instalments in this series, raise the result to the power of 100, and there is a slight possibility that the ridiculous fascinating MRDs™ might become slightly annoying. But only slightly. Just a little bit. Kind of. But hey, as long as there is GREAT make up sex, who cares, right? Well, there is none, and I do. Care, I mean. About the lack of GREAT make up sex. To be honestly honest, I seem to recall there was a boring sex scene involving a library desk (poor thing) in this book. It was as exciting as corn porn. So cool. I loved every second of it. »» And that is why, my dear Little Barnacles, this series died a slow, painful, horrible death. To think I got a little excited over the previous ELEVEN (view spoiler)[ (hide spoiler)] instalments in this series (must to my dear friends' utter dismay and confusion, I might add). I have to say that this surprising and very uncharacteristic lack of judgement on my part was not my fault. Oh no. It's just that I was young and stupid naïve when I read said ELEVEN (view spoiler)[ (hide spoiler)] instalments. But now I am ancient and wise, so all is well in the world once again. • • • •۰° •ิ•۰° •ิ•۰° •ิ•۰° •ิ•۰° •ิ°۰۰° •ิ•۰° •ิ•۰° •ิ•۰° •ิ•۰° •ิ°۰• • • •۰ Pre-review nonsense: Have trouble sleeping? Read this book. It works better than all the sleeping pills in the world. Two lines from this amazingly entertaining masterpiece and you won't wake up for days. And that's a promise. ►► Full review to come. If I ever wake up from this vamp-induced, cheese-filled coma, that is.